Vertigo Zine
Vertigo Zine
HOME / WHAT THEY SAID ABOUT US / ISSUE 6 / ISSUE 5.5 / ISSUE 5 / ISSUE 4 / ISSUE 3 / ISSUE 2 / ISSUE 1 / ZINE SCENE
Vertigo

ISSUE #6

COVER / EDITORIAL RANT / BRIGHTON PUB GUIDE / TEN PUB TOILETS IN BRIGHTON / DEATH TO PRINCESS DI / RECORD LABEL SPOTLIGHT / SLAMPT ON TOUR / TOP TEN GIRL GROUP SONGS / SURF MUSIC RETROSPECTIVE / THE SHANGRI-LA'S / FUCK THE INTERNET / FOOTBALL - THE '98 CHARITY SHIELD / HOW TO MAKE YOUR BEER SING / RECORD REVIEWS / ZINE REVIEWS

SINGING BEER SHOCKER!!

Throughout my years of drinking in hostelries the length and breadth of the country, many strange occurrences have occurred. I can smile at some of them, wince at many and deny all knowledge of some incidents that were out of character, but aren’t really, it’s just the drunken side of my character in all it’s full pint sized glory. In short, pubs and I are enamoured. And, as lovers of some years, I thought I knew all their ways, their little idiosyncrasies, the secrets and lies, and the joys we could both experience. Until.....

During the extensive research for the top and bottom ten pubs, the Vertigo team collectively encountered a wondrous phenomenon. Singing Beer! Yep, beer that sings! Really! We’re not drunk. For some reason, (most likely divine providence) we held our pints to our ears (obviously when not full to the brim) and we heard an incredible, soothing noise, not dissimilar to the sound from the interior of a seashell. The hops sang to us their arias from the brewery. After more research, we found out that Guinness was the most bass sounding, the tones getting lighter the stronger the lager. Bitter seemed to have a middling range. We don’t know about cider because none of us are 14 years old and don’t touch the stuff. (As I write this, I can feel your disbelief, but it’s all true). Next time, listen to your pint, it has a tune for you.

We have decided to share this exclusive information with you, as we feel a craze coming on - all over the land people will be clutching their pints to their ears and looking amazed. Please relay your findings to us. We have seen no other mention of this anywhere else. Is there some sort of conspiracy? Can someone sample the beer’s song and make a top ten novelty hit? Do spirits make a noise? Bottled beers and plastic glasses don’t work - we’ve tried.

We’re still in shock about this, but it seems that beer tastes ace, gets you drunk, and now it sings. Where will it end? Planet of the Beers? The Singing Beer TM ( c Vertigo ‘97) craze starts here.

STOP PRESS!

re: bottled beer. Rolling Rock sings! Send your field reports now, to the Vertigo address. Mark them ‘Singing Beer!’